龙龙年

新年快乐！！ 大年初一，回婆婆家，婆婆家变得跟以前不一样，因为长期没人住，被荒废了样~~ 婆婆老了，脚没力了，寸步难行。。叔叔伯伯都回来了，热闹那么一阵，但背后的过程不是人人参与，欢聚一堂也不容易。。如果正真愿意付出的人不多，那么欢聚的意义到在哪里。。付出与收获都不重要，重要的是眼前人。。

大年初二，第一年没回巴罗，到了阿姨家，呆呆的坐着。。。等人齐，去喝茶也是呆呆坐着。虽然呆呆坐着，重要的是大家聚在一起好开心，需要的是那份真心与尊重。。

谢谢朋友不时的联络和安排的 outing，truly appreciate.. 太感激你们的贴心。。

记得爸爸分红包，载我们回老家，到老家和叔叔伯伯姐姐们哈啦，邀我们玩牌，当财神送钱给我们，做每见事都想起熟悉的身影，仿佛他还没离开我们，是不是当每件事情都经历了没有爸爸的第一次，我们就会习惯。呆呆做在爸爸的灵位旁，想跟爸爸说这新年的点滴，停住了，爸爸真的听到吗？

好想大声的呐喊，啊！！！

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the lunar new year is just around the corner, tis should be the most awaiting holidays and festival of the year.. but it is so diff one for my family tis year.. i cant make myself happy in tis reunion period.. remember tat exactly last month, he asked me to buy some dragon decoration to decorate the living room, who knows he had no chance to do it anymore.. sometime i really cant accept wat had happened to him in all sudden.. we miss him so much but nthg we could do to bring him back.. why the god is so cruel to bring him away without any warning to us. or jus tat we get used to the warnings that he gav during the last few years.. we believe that he could make it through as he had went through the last few years.. he had went through the most difficult time and getting on his path to enjoy the rest of his life peacefully in his dream house, but why u took him away at tis moment...

P/s: Daddy, everything will be fine ok. please dun worry about us.. i wrote tis jus because i miss you so much.. we are ok, must 加油哦！

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2011

在倒数新年的夜晚，我哭了，因为想起了爸爸去年跟我说的跨年笑话，再也听不到了，剩下对爸爸的思念。。

今天是爸爸的头七，早上请师夫做了烟供，师父再三叮咛我们要多念经 ：( 一整天下来，只在睡前念了一下。。没用的我。。

从早上手忙脚乱地准备供品和祭品，下午才到爸爸的灵位拜祭，没有哭了，我们面对的很坦然。。但心中那份空虚有谁知。

下午也去看婆婆，状况很好，也接受了。聊着，“以前都是Tao Lin(爸爸)买的 现在没有了。”说着，婆婆眼眶红了。好心疼，但我们必须坚强。也鼓励婆婆要往好的方面想。。

我好想这样待在妈妈身边，但假期完了就要回到自己的岗位了。。。

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幸好爸晚上睡得着，是睡得着吗，还是半昏迷了，我不知道，不时看到他呼吸变快，翻着白眼，好心疼。
三点多，我摸爸的手，有体温了，但葡萄糖似乎卡在手臂了，爸加油，吸收多点好吗？
爸，我真的希望你会好起来，但我担心你太辛苦，告诉我该怎么办？
不断为爸诵经。。点灯。。点了无数盒，买了又没了。。只有不断的祈祷～～
我困了，睡着了，希望醒来之后，这只是一场梦：( 拜托。。。

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来电显示 Mummy
电话那头是妹的声音，但模糊到我听不清她在说什么，隐约一句“你在哪里，回家好吗？” 然后哽咽。。。
吓坏我了，怎么办？ 我不想胡思乱想但是这样的情况叫我怎么不害怕。 儿时不说，我从没看过我妹哭，到底是什么状况让她哭了。
回家途中，脑子不断飘着零零碎碎的画面，有多少串不完整的记忆，记得很清楚的是，每次回新加坡前，爸爸的一句“加油”。
那么虚弱的爸爸都不忘为我加油，但我却一句加油都没对他说过。。我到底是个多没心的人。。
没事的吧，说你只是寂寞，想要我们回去陪你，我回来了，没事的对吧.加油，Daddy!
拜托拜托。。

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Xmas Eve

Sitting at KFC, 2 more hours to go~~ waiting bus go bck to KL~~
Going back home become one of  irritating process >_<
bt going bck home is alw wat we look forward to~~
Dun feel today is xmas eve as no plan for today at all.

Yday was a good day, working half day n attend a company year end event, relaxing~~
but dun get any price.frm Lucky draw T_T arghh~~~

got a photo with Baby F, cant count how long we nv take photo tgt. Hehe. I feel that i neglect my frens quite a lot~~ did I? Or tis is the way i alw do~~ Lol.

feeling so Good got My dearest working in the same company. Sometime whn really work until pek cek, thn can meet dearest at office, chit chat for while, bright up my day too. Y we r nt in the same department. Wonder y i nv thk to study ACCA, haha.

P/s: tis android app really works, nice one :-D

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